Originally Published February 12, 2007
STEWART – Just when does our school bored meet? It seems that multiple evening conflicts have caused the school bored to do the local equivalent of the “Court Street Shuffle” as the time and place of these meetings is always changing. Ay Carumba’s! shift to stealth meetings has been, unfortunately for them, difficult to do with that pesky Sunshine Law in the way. Our skeptic staff thinks that the prime reason that the school bored is playing “the shuffle” with meetings is that it makes it harder for the community to find out what is really going on. “Not so,” says bored president Van Weekly. “We are actually helping the public to become smarter by making it harder to find us. It also helps us, the bored, because then we will know who the really smart people are in the district and we can actively avoid following their suggestions. Of course, this doesn’t apply to my Ay Carumba! friends.”
When it comes to scheduling meetings, doing so at the last possible minute seems to be preferred. Rumor has it that Weekly (ironic that, eh?) has taken to throwing a dart at the calendar to determine bored meeting dates. Astrologically speaking, though, having the meeting be on the night of the full moon would probably be best if they are aiming for the lunatic, Ay Carumba! crowd. However, it has been overheard by Dropem that meeting on the full moon would probably violate the Sunshine Law, although he isn’t sure why. Of course it would also be a bit too obvious about meeting on the full moon, because just about any idiot could look up and see if it was meeting day or not – and hoping for clouds every full moon might be expecting a little too much cooperation from the weather.
What C.Y.A. would like to know is this – just what are these supposed conflicts with the bored meeting on a regular night? Is it interfering with Sugars’ ladies night attendance? Maybe it’s a Grandparents Without Grandchildren meeting getting in the way? Perhaps moving the local JJJ white wash night or the Crop Circles Anonymous meeting would be advisable. On second thought, maybe not.
Come on bored members! ‘Fess up! What is keeping you from meeting on one regular night a month? The community wants to know what is more important than fulfilling your elected obligations. Is it too much to ask that one regular night a month be cleared by our illustrious school bored members? It seems that if you have something that much better to do and it isn’t something that you can talk about in public, than maybe you shouldn’t be a bored member. Luckily for the Athens Messenger sales department, this has meant that confused community members have to keep a close eye the What’s Happening section.
Lately, though, there have been a spate of bored meetings – so many, in fact, that a chance visit to one of the schools might mean that one could find oneself unexpectedly attending a bored meeting without any sleuthing at all. This blitzkrieg of meetings can only mean one thing – that the bored is waiting for everyone to become bored and overwhelmed with the number of meetings, that attendence will drop off, and subsequently business will not have to be done in the public eye. And once any bored meeting is over, the Ay Carumba! members have been seen to run away from the meeting as quickly as possible. Apparently, in order to have one’s opinion heard, one must be fleet of foot, and in order to have one’s opinion acted upon, one must have a personal phone line to Henny Penny.