Originally Published March 12, 2007
In an increasingly bizarre attempt to make money, bored member Dodger Dropem recently took the Friends of FedHock pig hostage. The pig was to be the main sacrifice in a purity ritual aimed at purging negativity from the district. Hopefully the positive energy raised would bring students into FedHock on open enrollment.
Dodger, no friend to the Friends, kidnapped the pig, tied it up out in the woods and sent his hostage note, along with ransom request, to the Friends. Luckily, the pig was able to get loose by using a safety pin and his snout, and roam about until finding a friendly migrant farm worker to call the Friends to pick him up. When informed that the pig had been returned to the Friends, Dropem muttered, “Curses, foiled again.”
Of course, the pig, not knowing his ultimate fate, was delicious. Many people were heard to say, “Wow, that was Some Pig!”