Originally Published April 9, 2007
Responding to complaints about the vagueness of the latest superintendent directives, the school bored has issued a “clarification” of the original document. Some of the highlights include:
In order to insure that Mr. Manley is communicating with people appropriately, all communications between Mr. Manley and anyone else will be recorded. This includes installing a wire tap on his phone, intercepting e-mail and installing close-circuit video within his office. Transcripts will be made available to Ay Carumba! members upon request.
About Mr. Manley being able to leave the district to attend functions only with permission of the bored president (Weekly), it should instead read:
Whenever Mr. Manley wants to leave his office for any reason, including lunch, bathroom breaks or meetings with any other staff members outside of his office he will have to get an authorized hall pass from Mr. Weekly. To make sure that he doesn’t violate this rule, Mr. Manley will be required to wear an ankle monitoring device and will be followed around by a goon (Ay Carumba! volunteer) with a taser.
About public relations:
Mr. Manley will consent to undergo surgery to implant a bored editor. This is so that the bored can actually edit anything Mr. Manley says before he even says it. Mr. Manley has gone on record to say that he will refuse the procedure unless the bored undergoes artificial intelligence implants, because “that’s the only way some of them will actually be smart enough to know how stupid they are.”
About giving good information:
Mr. Manley is not required to actually give the bored good information – just the information that they actually want to believe is good. Mr. Manley’s response? See note above about the bored needing artificial intelligence implants.
Undoubtedly, more clarifications will have to be made later as situations arise and more muddy language is dealt with. Please stay tuned to CYA for future notifications of the emergency bored-cast system.