Brooms Disappear: Students Taking Off

Originally Published December 10, 2001

AMESVILLE/COOLVILLE – It was a puzzle worthy of an Agatha Christie novel. Brooms were disappearing from both elementary school buildings. But luckily it wasn’t a sign of any ominous goings on. Instead, it has marked a turning point in the social life of both schools.

Inspired by the latest Harry Potter craze, two new clubs have been started at the elementary schools – the Amesville Sheepdips and the Coolville Cowpox. Both groups are fielding new Quidditch teams and plan to have a showdown match later in the spring.

Advised by Maria Squirrel, the Sheepdips have started practices already. They hope to get the bounce on their Coolville counterparts, by using advanced flying techniques. Luckily, the Sheepdips have good field practice areas and are pretty happy with their conditioning so far. “We have had to contend with some problems with hunters and trap shooters. They just don’t seem to paying attention to the no shooting signs. Luckily, no fatalities so far,” said Squirrel cheerily.

On the other hand, the Cowpox have been having a harder time getting into the air. They initially tried to schedule practices over the Ohio river, thinking that it might be safer should any of the young team members fall while practicing more difficult and advanced moves. However, cold weather is making swimming a more than unusual hazard, so the team has been scouting out prospective practice fields. Said Cowpox coach Wynnie Weasel, “These kids will learn the right moves and beat the Sheepdips if I have to beat it into them.” Said principal Theo Wryter, “Weasel does have the reputation for being the biggest witch in the school, and so I have every confidence that we will come out on top.”

The new Quidditch boosters have secured community support in both time and money in order to build a new Quidditch field for the district, one that could be shared by both teams. The plans only require the use of some unused school land and no investment capital on the part of the district. However, some members of the school bored are concerned that improving the land now could impede future improvements later. “We’d like to put in a multimillion dollar indoor track and Olympic-sized swimming pool sometime, and if we put in a Quidditch field now, then we might now be able to do it then,” said bored member Dodger Dropem. When asked if these plans were actually in the works or if there was a timetable, Dropem could only shrug and say that there were no such plans now, “but there might be sometime,” he continued. “We wouldn’t want to stop that kind of development now, would we?”

The Quidditch Boosters are understandably upset, but are still working to secure school bored approval. Ted Bayatme has also stated some concern about the building program, worried that if the community sees any kind of improvement in the schools, that they will vote down any operating levies on future ballots.”However,” said one Quidditch booster, “given the chance, the community will vote down levies anyway, so let’s go for it.”

Hopefully, both teams will be able to iron out their respective problems, and will be able to meet later this year.

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