Bored to remake movie classic to raise funds

Originally Published March 12, 2007

STEWART – In another unique and maverick move, the FedHock school bored is considering a remake of the classic movie, The Wizard of Oz. Details leaked about the remake state that it is set in modern times and will be more in the horror genre, than the musical comedy we all know and love.

In order to save even more money, rumor has it that bored members themselves will play key roles in the movie. Tentative casting decisions include Van Weekly as Gutless Ghost, who is looking for a body; Henny Penny as Zany Zombie, who is looking for a brain; and Dodger Dropem as Vlad Vampire, who is looking for a soul. Sioux Red and Johnny Elder will play the roles of Dorothy and Toto respectively. However, in this remake, their roles are extremely reduced from the original and their lines reserved to continued wailings of wanting to go home. Roles of the flying monkeys will be given to Ay Carumba! members, while Friends of FedHock have been recruited to play the Munchkins. Todd McGyver has been offered the special role as Mayor of Munchkinland. While it would seem appropriate for the title role of the Wizard to be played by Jimbo Manley, it was heard by many that Dropem said, “Wizard? We don’t need no stinkin’ wizard!”

For now, further details about the movie are shrouded in secrecy. It has been said that the bored is using money, as much as a $1000 a month from the general fund, to pay for special representation. Whether or not this is a good use of the district’s already limited funds is yet to be seen. Be that as it may, this is one movie that is already playing to a limited audience. To see the next showing, one just needs to come to the school bored meetings.

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