With the exodus of Jimbo Manley from the Stewart central office complex, office space has become available for Stan Abhorrence to move in. His new car dealership, Abhorrence Motors, is slated to begin operations almost immediately and will be sited at what was the Middle School parking lot.
“Now that I am unofficially acting stuporintendent, as well officially acting bored president, moving my other work here seems to make sense,“ said Abhorrence. “I think that Stewart could use its own auto sales. And where else better than at the school where I have all of these potential new clients? I mean, the largest new car owner population is right here at school with all of those kids just turning sixteen.” Abhorrence also announced a new incentive deal for the FedHock student or employee buyer – buy anytime and receive a free parking pass for the life of the car. When Abhorrence was told that there weren’t any parking passes, he smirked evilly. “Well now, that’s the way it used to be. But starting with school year 2009-2010 there will be a parking fee of $1000 a year – for both staff and students. That makes buying from me an even better deal!” Also, event parking fees will also be collected for sporting and other events, and so community members can get passes by purchasing from Abhorrence Motors. Ay Carumba! members are eligible for free passes if they support Abhorrence by attending two or more bored meetings. All of the fees will be used to help upgrade and maintain the parking lot, pay parking attendants, as well as help pay for new signage announcing Abhorrence Motors. Any extra funds will go towards the school bored legal defense fund.
The changes aren’t universally heralded, and Abhorrence was asked to comment on the criticism. “I have no response,” he said.